Flint and Steel

Because I couldn't hack the calculus to be an engineer (and that I couldn't stand the thought of wearing a pocket protector to work), I have never been able to pursue my passion for automobile design. However, the internet has given scrubs like me the means to put our opinions out there for the masses to read. From a first amendment perspective this is probably a good thing; however, by the end of this first post (paragraph) you'll probably find yourself thinking otherwise. At any rate, rather than bottle up my opinions inside me until they suddenly burst into a hellish-rant about how people who put spoilers on their Toyota Corolla should be given capital punishment...I figure I'd exercise my constitutional rights and blog about it.

One permanent feature I would like to Christen today, as the theme of the inaugural post of this blog, is the "Top 5 Cars I would rather have than Penelope Cruz naked list." Not to be mistaken for a list displaying my opinion on the best cars in the world; rather, this list addresses the crucial and eternal question of: What is the sexiest car alive today? There are many things to consider when talking about automobiles. The fact is; however, that the first experience you ever have with an automobile is from the exterior. You view it. Appearance, above all else is the defining first impression anyone has with a vehicle. For that reason, I have chosen design to be the topic of the inaugural post of this blog. The list goes as follows, with rationale and pornography below:

--The Top 5 Cars I would Rather Have than Penelope Cruz Naked List--
1.) Aston Martin One-77
2.) Aston Martin V8 Vantage S
3.) Ferrari 458 Italia
4.) Jaguar XJ
5.) Zenvo ST1
Honorable Mention: Maserati GranCabrio Sport, Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione (excluded only because production ended in 2008 for the better looking coupe, which violates this list's rules), Audi R8 Spyder 5.2.

The Zenvo ST1 looks like something impossible to build, alive only in the imagination. Conjured from the same dark spaces which breed nightmares, and filthy fantasies.

Although it may do things rather unconventionally, with a markedly reduced use of curvature, there is no doubting that the Zenvo is simply staggering to behold. If it weren't for those dark secrets and fantasies that we reserve in the crevices of our mind, the same thoughts that ignite irrational actions, what fun would life be? The Zenvo in the same way captures the traces of benign evil that are present in all of us. For these reasons it is one of the best looking cars in production today.


It takes something incredibly special for a four door saloon car to be considered among the elite looking vehicles in the world. The styling of this car is every bit as solid as the Oak desk the President sits at in the Oval Office as he addresses the nation. What would that office be without the iconic desk that inhabits it?

In the same way this Jaguar demonstrates the weight and strength of something iconic. It is muscular and proud in every area that it should be. It represents the toned figure of a male athlete, not something brutish like a basketball player or a football player, but that of a boxer or a gymnast.


The Ferrari 458 Italia is simply a demonstration of human achievement. Any gentleman with decent manners knows that the real reason you hold the door for women is so that you can see them from behind. Well, the 458 Italia is your reward. This car has the greatest rear-end in production today, and the way the body couture flows into those hips is simply breathtaking.

The triple exhaust is not the first time Ferrari has gone odd numbered, but from purely an aesthetic viewpoint, this has to be the best. Even the passenger windows look more like menacing eyes of some dark gargoyle protecting treasures, if not something more important (like a 560hp 4.5L V8 for example).


The V8 Vantage S is not so much a masterpiece of art as it is the definition of it. Your first thought probably is, "My goodness you madman, you haven't even picked a V12 Aston, and if it's because you think the proportions are stranger on the bigger cars, then why not go for the V12 Vantage?" I reply simply,

"It looks better." The Vantage V8 S is unmolested by the large nostrils on the V12 hood, which in my opinion is the same difference between silicon and nature, you would just rather have the real thing. This Aston sits somewhere between pure evil and purgatory, it makes me believe the V8 Vantage S is literally the spawn of Satin.


If Michelangelo was alive today, he would work for Aston Martin. Starting from the gorgeous trademark Aston grill transitioning to the quarter panels which sweep back like the gills of a shark, past the wondrous shoulders, to the exaggerated wheel fenders, and ending on the

Pink Floyd-esque light show of a tail-lamp, this car makes dinosaurs beg for death so they can one day be combusted as its fuel. Forgetting that it has 700 horsepower, this beast could never turn a single revolution and still be one of the best looking cars ever made. It simply exudes sexual prowess. If the Vantage is Satan's love-child, the One-77 is his seducer.

I hope you found this post entertaining. I look forward to your comments and perhaps your disagreements...although really, can you honestly contend that there are better looking cars?

Until I meet you at that lonely red light,
Editor Charles Guinn